i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
