Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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