You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize