I CAN MOONWALK!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
