Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
