As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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