She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
