No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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