Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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