No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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