Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize