trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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