dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
