For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
