Will you blow on my dice?
We need to rekindle our bromance
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
