id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
