Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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