You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
