why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
COCAINE IS GR8
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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