You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
