in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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