MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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