I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
