Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
