I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
