Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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