he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
