You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
