so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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