Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
