Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize