Christians are straight up FREAKS
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
