Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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