Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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