Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
