trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
