i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
