...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
