My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
