That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
