Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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