I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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