i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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