but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
