he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
