even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
