i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
