...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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