I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
