like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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