I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
