The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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