You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
