So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
