Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
