Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
pop tarts are not kleenex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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