i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
