my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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