I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
