Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i dont even know how to be here
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
