The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize