Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
