There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
