I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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