That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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