I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
