If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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