Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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