as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
