Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
