I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
