She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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