we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
