He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
